At the peremptory request and desire of a large majority of the citizens of these United States, I, Norton I, formerly of Algoa Bay, Cape of Good Hope, thence of San Francisco, and now resident in the cloud (which I am assured is not a meteorological phenomenon but a series of warehouses in Oregon), do hereby issue the following Decrees for the amelioration of evils under which this once-great Republic labors. I am told things have worsened considerably since 1880. From what I can gather, Con...